When this holiday comes around, as it does each November, many have thoughts on what they would like to say, but feel that “Thank You” is not enough. Perhaps these quotes from the great thinkers and leaders of our time can help to inspire or increase the spirit of this special day.

“My heroes are those who risk their lives every day to protect our world and make it a better place–police, firefighters, and members of our armed forces.”

- Sidney Sheldon

“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself. ”

- Joseph Campbell

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

- John F. Kennedy

“America’s veterans deserve the very best health care because they’ve earned it.”

- Jim Ramstad

“From the world wars of Europe to the jungles of the Far East, from the deserts of the Middle East to the African continent, and even here in our own hemisphere, our veterans have made the world a better place and America the great country we are today.”

- John Hoeven

“They fell, but o’er their glorious grave floats free the banner of the cause they died to save.”

-Francis Marion Crawford

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”

-Cynthia Ozick

“The patriot’s blood is the seed of Freedom’s tree.”

-Thomas Campbell

“The willingness of America’s veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude.”

- Jeff Miller

“Valor is stability, not of legs and arms, but of courage and the soul.”

-Michel de Montaigne

Though words can be very powerful, simply letting someone know you care or even a genuine smile can be a great way to show your gratitude. Giving thanks doesn’t have to come in the form of a pleasant saying. It can come from a nice gesture, a small gift or even a donation in someone’s name. Whichever way you choose to celebrate and show your gratitude we hope you have a happy heartfelt Thanksgiving.

Mrs. Saunders, born in 1919, was not always interested in caring for the dying. During her college years, she studied politics and economics though it was not until she met David Tasma that she realized her true calling. Tasma, a Jewish refugee, had escaped from a Warsaw ghetto during the Holocaust. They fell in love shortly before he died of cancer, but left her £500 to be “a window in your home” after his passing. This act helped to stimulate the idea in Saunders mind that there was a need for hospice care in the world. In 1958, a year after receiving her physician’s degree, she began working for St. Joseph’s Hospice of Hackney, a place she would continue to work for 7 years. Throughout those years, Saunders had two more relationships with terminally ill patients. Because of these devastating losses, which also coincided with her father’s death, Saunders decided to incorporate family support as part of her new program. “I felt I had the right to say to families that I understood how they were feeling”, said Saunders.

Finally, in 1967, Saunders had the money and experience to open a hospice of her own. She named it St. Christopher’s Hospice, which she herself described as “a hospital and a home.” Throughout her long life (87 years) and career, Cicely Saunders earned several significant awards. Some of these include:

1979-Promoted to Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire
1981-Awarded the Templeton Prize (the world’s richest annual prize awarded to an individual)
1989-Appointed to the Order of Merit by Queen Elizabeth II
2001-Received the Conrad N. Hilton Humanitarian Prize, (1 million dollars for St. Christopher’s
Dame Cicely Saunders continued to run St. Christopher’s until shortly before her death in July of 2005. She was tireless in her efforts to bring comfort to those who were dying and to provide support for their family and friends. “I didn’t set out to change the world; I set out to do something about pain,” she said. “It wasn’t long before I realized that pain was not only physical, but it was psychological and spiritual… Hospice has spread because it taps into family values and offers a simple, basic way of dealing with pain and other symptoms.” Interestingly enough, Cicely Saunders passed away in the very hospice that she founded.

With National Hospice and Palliative Care Month just around the corner, let’s take the time to reflect and remember a legend whose humble beginnings and tireless effort transformed the way we think about hospice and palliative care. Like Mrs. Saunders, we didn’t invent hospice. We simply realize that there is a need for comprehensive care and work to provide care for those who need it the most.

Though the holidays can be particularly difficult for those left behind, but may also offer a unique opportunity to honor your loved one. Placing a special ornament on the tree, setting out a cherished decoration or serving a favorite holiday meal can evoke fond memories. Friends and family may wish to share notes of remembrance placed in a stocking put up for your loved one. A candle might be lit in memory, or perhaps a toast or prayer can be offered in tribute before a meal. Money that would have been spent on a gift could be donated in your loved one’s name to a favorite charity, homeless or animal shelter, or a needy family.

Though your loved one’s presence will be missed, and the holidays will not feel the same without them, it may help to think of the holidays as a special time to celebrate your loved one. By creating a new special tradition in their memory, they will remain a part of your celebration. Friends and family may come together to share stories and cherished memories, such as the way they laughed or their favorite quotes. Sharing these recollections with younger friends and family members is a wonderful way to honor your loved one, who may have passed before the children were old enough to know them. By gathering old photos, you can make a mosaic or a memory album of the times you spent together. Create a calendar from pictures or drawings with poems written to or about them, or simply write a letter to express your feelings.

Crafts offer many unique opportunities to remember those close to you who have passed. You might make a quilt from their favorite clothes, inscribe their name on a piece of jewelry, or compile treasured possessions and photos into a scrapbook that will be cherished for years to come. A wonderful way to remember a loved one who enjoyed cooking might be to create a memory cookbook. These favorite recipes can recapture loving memories of family dinners, picnics and holiday meals, especially if you include photos and captions with them.

A living memorial can serve as a permanent, life-affirming remembrance in honor of your loved one. Planting a tree or creating a garden of their favorite flowers provides a loving reminder with each spring’s blossoms, and you could offer seed packets to mourners at the memorial service to plant in their honor.

Celebrating and honoring the memory of your loved one is an important part of coming to terms with your own grief and healing from your loss. As you make plans for these remembrances, be aware that we all respond to grief in our own way and have our own methods of coping. Talk with your family and friends about how you want to remember and honor your loved one. During your grieving process, understand that you may continue to feel sad, angry or lonely for a long time. But you will also gradually experience increased periods of joy and happiness. These are all normal emotions, and feeling happy doesn’t disrespect your loved one’s memory. It simply reflects your progression from mourning to a celebration of the life you shared together as you journey through your grief toward healing, hope and renewal.

Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your friend’s grief. Be open and honest about their feelings as well as your own, and know that it’s okay to admit you may not know what to say or do. Sometimes words aren’t necessary and just being there is enough. A hug or holding your friend’s hand can speak volumes to let them know they are loved and cared for.

Your friend may not want to talk at all, or they may wish to talk about their emotions, the illness, normal things, or perhaps something else. Let them lead the conversation and talk about what they feel comfortable discussing. Give your friend a safe haven where they can express the deeply intense emotions they are experiencing, without offering criticism, advice, instruction, or “shoulds”. It’s important to respect whatever they are feeling, letting them cry or being upset. Everyone responds to grief and loss in their own way, so avoid putting expectations on what or how your friend should be feeling. Don’t pity them, try to fix things, or provide solutions – just accept their emotions and reactions as they are.

Understanding that your friend’s needs and emotions are changeable will help you avoid taking it personally if they seem to be on an emotional rollercoaster. Remember that they are responding to the stresses of the illness, not you. Sharing these intense feelings with you means they feel safe enough with you to do so. Your friend may also need more privacy at times. You can still remind them that you’re thinking of them with cards, notes or e-mails if they prefer no visits, but always honor their preferences.

Let your friend know how important their friendship is to you, and remember the fun times you’ve had together. You might remind them of the positive impact their life has had, and offer to assist them in creating a legacy project if they desire. Depending on your and your friend’s beliefs, you may offer spiritual support, but always respect their wishes if they decline.

As your friend’s illness progresses, they may require more help with everyday tasks and responsibilities. Make things easier on them by offering practical help with specific tasks. This will assure them you’re providing help you’re comfortable doing and keep them from worrying that they’re burdening you. Never underestimate the importance of small things and helping with routine tasks.

Remember to be aware of your own needs during this difficult time. It’s important to take care of yourself and address your needs as well as those of your friend. If you feel you need help handling your own grief response, or just want someone to talk to, local support groups or hospice organizations are excellent resources and can be located in the phone book or on the Internet. It’s easy to get overwhelmed trying to do too much when someone you care deeply for is in pain, and while you don’t want to avoid your friend when they need you most, you must be careful not to get worn out either. To ensure you’re offering the best of your friendship, think about what you can and want to do. Start small and follow through with any help that you offer. The more consistent you can be with your support over time, the more effectively you can be present for your friend both physically and emotionally.

Place a few of your favorite quotes around the house to serve as your daily dose of inspiration.

“If you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed.”

~ David Viscott

“Out of clutter, find Simplicity. From discord, find Harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies Opportunity.”
~ Albert Einstein

“The greatest discovery of the 20th Century is that our attitude of mind determines our quality of life, not circumstances,”

~ William James

“In life you can never be too kind or too fair; everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. When you go through your day expressing kindness and courtesy to all you meet, you leave behind a feeling of warmth and good cheer, and you help alleviate the burdens everyone is struggling with.”

~ Brian Tracy

“One person caring about another represents life’s greatest value”

~ Jim Rohn

“What we hope ever to do with ease we must learn first to do with diligence.”

~ Samuel Johnson

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of

~ Norman Vincent Peale

Hopefully, these encouraging words of wisdom will lift your spirits in times of trouble. At Continuum Home Care & Hospice , we believe that your first source for caregiving comes from within. We suggest that you keep these in your mind as they can be a quick and easy way to refresh and keep your spirits high.